Random Drabble- Colonial Customer Service

My dream last night… 


Paul Revere was calling into a customer support center for “The British Are Coming” Corporation:


And the automated voice says, “Thank you for calling The British Are Coming call center. If this is an emergency, please hang up and yell “911” immediately on horseback. Your call is very important to us. So that we may better direct your heedful cry, please select one of the following: If the British are coming by land, please press one. If the British are coming be sea, please press two. If you don’t know which way the British are coming and need instructions on how to determine if, when, or how the British are indeed coming, please press three. If you are a British solider and would like to confirm, deny, or clarify a report about your coming, please press four. If you previously reported The British are Coming and would like to check on the status of the troop movement, please press five. Note: A tarriff may be charged on your tea for pressing five. Para informar a los británicos vienen en español, por favor marque seis. If you need to talk to a live agent about the British Coming, or have any other questions, please press zero now, or knock on the door of your nearest inn.”


This is what happens when I sleep on a tall ship, I guess…

Your two cents appreciated: